Monday, January 9, 2012

Me and My Potty Mouth!

Ok, so I have been "tossing" the idea around about starting to "potty train" Ave & Bryce.  By "tossing" the idea around, I mean "talking" about it.  Not actually making any REAL effort at STARTING "it"...LOL!

One of the MANY pieces of advice I have heard over and over from "seasoned potty trainers" is that it's a good starting point to have the children watch me use the "potty".  EASY ENOUGH!  (I usually keep the door open for the world to "see" anyways.)

For the last few weeks I have been making an "announcement" every time I need to go to the washroom.  I make this huge deal about it and you'd swear I'd won the lottery BIG TIME if you had happen to overhear the "announcement" I make and all the effort it takes to sound excited about something that's really NOT that exciting.  It goes something like this:

"EXCUSE ME! Can I have your attention PLEASE?  Mommy's gotta go P-E-E!"

Both Ave & Bryce answer back simultaneously, "YAH! YAH!" as they follow me to the washroom.

I holler back at them usually while doing a little fancy jig or skip-ity hop-hop, "Yah! Mommy's going to go P-E-E, P-E-E in the T-O-I-L-E-T!! Woo Hoo!" (The things we do for our kids...I tell ya!)

Again, they both chant together as they giggle with excitment, "YAH Mama!"

Once we arrive and I am sitting on the glorious "throne" I ask, "Where does mommy go pee?"

They point to the toilet and I respond, "That's right! In the toilet.  Where does Ave & Bryce go pee?"

They both point to their diapers and I respond, "BUT, where SHOULD Ave & Bryce go pee?"

MOST OF THE TIME they point to the toilet and I get all excited and say, "That's right!  You're right!  Ave & Bryce should go pee in the toilet...just like mommy does! Do you wanna try?"  That is usually when the "yah's and woo-hoo's" dissipate and they go running back to the toy room.  (I figure this is a pretty good sign that they are not ready yet. *sigh of relief*)

Anywho, the other day I was doing the dishes and Ave had picked up a magazine my sister had brought for me to read.  (It's always a treat when I am visiting with my sister because she gets all those good "trashy celeb mags" delivered right to her door and then brings some to Florida for me to enjoy.)  Since initiating my "Mommy's gotta P-E-E so, come on and take a gander" initiative, I have had very limited "alone-throne" time but when I do get a minute or two of "alone-throne" time, I like to read those magazines.

Ave was waving the magazine at me almost in a panic because she knows it's not one of her books and that she probably wont be able to resist the urge to rip all the pages out.  It was almost like she is begging me to take it from her.  Because I was doing the dishes, my hands were wet so I asked her to please go put it in the washroom.  I was stunned that she looked confused.  I mean seriously she "accompanies" me there on a regular basis.  I ask her again to please go but that in the washroom.  This time, she puts her hands out to her side and shrugs her shoulders and shakes her head as if to say "Where the hell is that?". 

I am getting a little impatient now because I just can't believe she doesn't know where the washroom is?!?! I then say, "You know where the washroom is Ave!  Where mommy goes pee."  Off she runs and I am so relieved that she was only pulling my leg.  That she DID in fact know where the washroom was.

A few minutes later, I start my BIG "announcement" routine, "EXCUSE ME!  Can I have your attention PLEASE!  Mommy's gotta...ya-da-ya-da"

When we all get to the washroom I busted out laughing and I literally, ALMOST peed my pants

As it turns out, Ave Has No Idea Where the Washroom Is!

BUT,  She Sure Knows Where MOMMY GOES P-E-E!  LMAO!

It's time for a new "announcement"...

"EXCUSE ME!  Can I have your attention PLEASE!  Mommy has to go to the WASHROOM to go P-E-E!"


  1. Oh NO! Don't tell them that! Then they will think you Pee all over the bathroom! Keep it to the toilet. Trust me on this one!

  2. That is adorable! Loved it! hahahah!

  3. I needed a laugh today! Thanks. :)

  4. Potty-training video, $20. Celebrity smut magazine, $4. That photo? Priceless!

    That's just too funny!!!

    But great job getting A&B excited about the potty...even if it's just excitement for Mommy right now. ;) It'll happen for them, too. :)

  5. LOL I love it - thanks for the laugh :)

  6. Hi! I found your blog through another one I follow and totally love this story....I had this inkling as I read....and I bust a gut laughing when I realized I was right....I have been there, done oldest did that to me with a library book...

    Oh...and she is 9 and poty trained well so there is hope. Lol

  7. I'm sorry but I'm laughing my butt off right now. That is so funny.

  8. And here I was expecting to read a post about how you lost your temper and used all kinds of ugly words...haha

  9. PS- We are doing something similar and it's hilarious and slightly embarrassing that Emily yells PEE PEE at random times, like in a crowded restaurant :-)

  10. this is too funny. Did you notice that the magazine cover says "I'm fighting for my life" :) guess it's drowning. LOL!

  11. wkakaka...cant help laughing. Poor Mommy

  12. Too funny!!!! Karen

  13. I had to loop back and read the comments on this one...too funny!!! ;)



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